Now, when it comes to what my ma used to call “the People of the Book” but now terms “the Sky God religions”, this may well be true. When it comes to Buddhism, however, it seems that anything goes.

Even on the BBC! In fact, the nine year old has recently put fingers to keyboard and sent a stern email to the Director-General of the Beeb.

It reads, in its entirety:

“To the director general of the BBC;
I have been doing your dance-mat touch-typing program, and frankly, I am shocked at how religiously insulting to Tibetan Buddhism its 7th stage is. If you are at all concerned with your program’s popularity, I suggest you change the theme immediately. I have observed that you have been making a mockery of  monastery rules such as shaven heads, and insist you replace this disgraceful act now.
Yours irately, Z…. S…. (age 9)”

Firstly, I am not making this up.

And secondly, he does have a point.

The Dancemat Typing programme teaches children aged 7-11 around the world the basics of touch-typing. Educationally you can’t fault it.

But politically? Jeez…

It features a series of comedy animals. In the stage which so offended junior these are yaks. Dressed as, err, Tibetan Buddhist monks.

In robes. With shaven heads. Standing in front of altars and burning incense. Banging gongs. And helping the aspiring touch-typist along in some of the more bizarre accents I’ve heard in an educational tool which is, IMHO, discomfitingly full of them.

Take a gander at the giraffe on stage eight if you’re in real Guardian reader mode.

Then revert to stage seven and try and imagine anyone doing the equivalent with priests, rabbis, mullahs, pandits, granthis (or even Christian monks or nuns).

I’m trying to as I write. But it makes my head go all twisted up and weird…

A cow in a nun’s costume in a chapel?

A pig… erm… Well, let’s not even go there…

I guess there’s two main reasons that Buddhism is seen as a soft touch in this arena.

Firstly it is a, well, rather gentle religion. Non-violence, and all that.

Secondly, there is a certain subset of Western Buddhism which does rather invite mockery in the Absolutely Fabulous vein.

Y’know. The post-hippie one which goes so beautifully with ear-candling, homeopathy, excessive weed consumption and very, very expensive oil burners.

And, once you’ve taken the piss out of that, why not take the piss out of the real thing? Particularly a version of the real thing that’s currently being persecuted by the Chinese government…

Mm.

Anywise. I’ll let you know whether the D-G or his minions reply to sir’s missive. In the meantime, do take a look. Do you think he’s being hyper-sensitive? Or am I?

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